3rd rock from the sun 台词乱翻

为了JGL的俊秀姑娘造型到处找这部96年的《3rd rock from the sun》，youtube有在线，虽然没有字幕，但是完全不妨碍我的各种面部扭曲和肢体扭曲。最近的眼角纹托这剧的福应该又加深了吧。在对JGL的爱无以发泄的这当口，把IMDB上的quote摘来大部分乱翻一下。

其实看过就发现完全不用打着JGL的名号来看这部，这剧里无论谁都让人超爱啊。



故事简介

4个外星人来地球考察，借用地球人的形体在这个星球上发生的各式各样让人忍俊不禁的事。
名字来源:到地球看到一辆卡车带有“Solomon”字样，于是就叫这个姓了。

星球差异概略：
原星球无性别差异。无情感生活，基本没有人际关系。
看到雪以为是白化脑沙螨。

人物简介：
Dick Solomon：一家之长，某家三流大学的物理学教授，同Mary Albright 共用办公室，他们共同秘书是Nina Campbell。
外星人，后来发现是The Big Giant Head的儿子。
职位:高级司令官
个性:自大,自恋,任性,偶尔发傻

Sally Solomon: Dick老妹，暴力爱好者，一开始不满在地球的女性身份，最后发展成所罗门家适应新身份最好的一个
外星人
职位:安全员
个性:男子汉，爱吹嘘，笨拙

Tommy Solomon: Dick儿子，不靠谱少年，四个人中年级最大，而且也是最聪明的一个。热衷于追求女孩子
外星人
职位:情报员
个性:不靠谱少年:)

Harry Solomon: Dick 老弟，不靠谱闲散人员，桃花运很盛，拥有强大的艺术天分
外星人
职位:通讯员 （S01E01时只是简单说明汽车恰好有个空座位就带他来了，后来有说明他的脑子里一大半被通讯仪器占了，顺势成了通讯官）
个性:怪胎（有一半的机器人血统）

Mary Albright：Dick同事，人类学教授，与Dick的情路曲曲折折
地球人

Nina Campbell：Dick同事，秘书
地球人


摘录

[after drinking household chemicals]
Harry Solomon: Um, I've lost all feeling in the left side of my body.
[Looks at upside-down can]
Harry Solomon: Could somebody please call "116"?

[喝了点家用化学溶剂]
Harry Solomon: 嗯，我左边身体麻啦
[倒着看盒子]
Harry Solomon: 有谁帮忙打下 "116"?


Dick Solomon: Dr. Albright, have I been a perfect ass?
Mary Albright: Aw, nobody's perfect.

Dick Solomon: Dr. Albright, 我有完美的屁股吧?
Mary Albright: 哦, 没人是完美的.

Mary Albright: I think you look distinguished with gray hair.
Dick Solomon: Thank you. I think you would look distinguished with gray hair, too.
Mary Albright: No. When men get gray hair, they look distinguished. When women get gray hair, they look old.
Dick Solomon: When women get breasts, they look sexy. When men get breasts, they look old.
Mary Albright: Good point!

Mary Albright: 我觉得一头灰白头发的你与众不同。
Dick Solomon: 谢谢，我想你要长了灰白头发也与众不同。
Mary Albright: 不会，男人灰发有魅力，女人灰发显的很老。
Dick Solomon: 诚如女人有胸部很性感，男人有胸部显的很老。
Mary Albright: 赞!


Dick Solomon: Guns don't kill people, physics kills people.

Dick Solomon: 枪杀不了人，物理学可以.


Dick Solomon: Where would we be without the agitators of the world attaching the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance?

Dick Solomon: 要是这世界没了连接知识电极到无知奶头的搅拌机，我们该去哪?


Mary Albright: Haven't you come to your senses yet?
Dick Solomon: I will never come to my senses!

Mary Albright: 你明白了没?
Dick Solomon: 我就没清醒过!


Dick Solomon: I'm sorry, there is simply no room in the budget for raises. But I can go you one better: promotions! Sally, you are now *Senior* Security Officer.
Sally Solomon: That'll look good on the ol' résumé!
Dick Solomon: Tommy, you are now *Senior* Information Officer.
Tommy Solomon: It's about time!
Harry Solomon: What about me?
Dick Solomon: Harry, you are now... Harold.
Harry Solomon: Champagne for everyone!

Dick Solomon: 抱歉, 已经没加薪空间啦. 但是我有更好的提议，那就是: 升职! Sally, 现在我正式提升你为 *高级* 保安。
Sally Solomon: 这样简历确实会好看点!
Dick Solomon: Tommy, 现在正式提升你为 *高级* 情报员。
Tommy Solomon: 是该升职了!
Harry Solomon: 那我呢?
Dick Solomon: Harry, 你升为... Harold.
Harry Solomon: 大家来举杯欢庆!


Dick Solomon: There are two kinds of toilet paper in this bathroom. I, and I alone, get the fluffy kind.

Dick Solomon: 厕所只有两种厕纸。我的以及我自己的，拿蓬松的那款.


Harry Solomon: I want to give mankind the gift... of electricity.
Tommy Solomon: Harry, they already have electricity.
Harry Solomon: Well! Then my work here is done.

Harry Solomon: 我打算赐予人类一件礼物，那就是... 电.
Tommy Solomon: Harry, 他们已经用上电了.
Harry Solomon: 好吧! 那我就算办完了.


Tommy Solomon: Harry, I need you to drive me somewhere.
Harry Solomon: Nope.
Tommy Solomon: You know I outrank you.
Harry Solomon: Then, "No, sir!"

Tommy Solomon: Harry, 你得载我一程.
Harry Solomon: 不行.
Tommy Solomon: 我可比你级别高.
Harry Solomon: 那, "不行，长官!"

Vicki Dubcek: How dare you use your flesh to tempt me?
Harry Solomon: Well, that's what it's there for!

Vicki Dubcek: 你怎么敢用你的肉体诱惑我?
Harry Solomon: 呃, 这就是长它们的用处!

[Dick is whining about is job]
Harry Solomon: You know, Dick, when life gives you lemon, just shut up and eat the damn lemons.

[Dick 抱怨他的工作]
Harry Solomon: 你知道, Dick, 假如生活给了你柠檬, 你就闭上你的臭嘴啃那该死的柠檬.

Mary Albright: Just be glad you're at the top of the food chain and nothing eats you.
Dick Solomon: What about the shark in Jaws. He's so scary.

Mary Albright: 真高兴你在食物链的顶端，啥都吃不了你.
Dick Solomon: 那大白鲨呢. 他看上去挺吓人的.


Tommy Solomon: It's like watching Entertainment tonight in Carnegie Frickin' Hall!

Tommy Solomon: 就像在卡耐基音乐厅里看娱乐节目!

Big Giant Head: It was a horrible flight! There was a man on the wing of the plane!
Dick Solomon: The same thing happened to me!
Big Giant Head: 真是糟糕的飞行! 机翼上居然有个人!
Dick Solomon: 我也遇到过!



[after finding out his father was "the Big Head"]
Dick Solomon: I don't know who I am anymore!
Harry Solomon: Well, your first name is Dick, and your last name is Head...

[发现他的父亲就是"the Big Head"后]
Dick Solomon: 我不知道我是谁了!
Harry Solomon: 呃, 你叫Dick, 你姓 Head...

*Dick他爸是the big head,所以他该姓head; Dick Head=猪头

Harry Solomon: Women. You can't live with 'em, and yet they're everywhere.

Harry Solomon: 女人们. 你没法跟她们一起过, 尽管到处都有她们.


Dick Solomon: Mary is too old for you.
Tommy Solomon: I'm older than you.
Dick Solomon: Well, then, you're too old for her. Either way, it won't work.
Tommy Solomon: I make her laugh, Dick. She likes it.
Dick Solomon: You shut your foul mouth!

Dick Solomon: 对你而言Mary太老了 .
Tommy Solomon: 我比你大.
Dick Solomon: 好吧, 那就对她而言你太老了. 无论如何都不成.
Tommy Solomon: 我逗她开心, Dick. 她喜欢这样.
Dick Solomon: 闭上你的臭嘴!


[Harry is looking for a job offer in the newspaper]
Harry Solomon: Here's a job that I can do. "Police are seeking third gunman." Tomorrow, I'm gonna march over to the police station and show them that I'm the man they're looking for.

[Harry在报纸上找工作]
Harry Solomon: 这个我能干. "警察在搜寻第三个枪手." 明天，我就踱步到警察局告诉他们我正是他们要找的人。

*third gunman可以理解为第三个抢劫犯

Dick Solomon: Mary, there's something I have to tell you. I come from another world.
Mary Albright: And that's news?

Dick Solomon: Mary, 有些事我必须得说. 我来自另外一个世界.
Mary Albright: 这算新闻?

Sally Solomon: Isn't there a place where people can have mindless sex with different partners?
Mary Albright: Yeah! It's called "the 70s."

Sally Solomon: 有没有什么地方，人们可以乱搞?
Mary Albright: 嘢! "the 70s."

*the 70s是同时期的一部美剧

Harry Solomon: So, when can I touch your breasts?
Sally Solomon: Right before you die!

Harry Solomon: 那，啥时我能摸你的胸部?
Sally Solomon: 你将死之前!


Harry Solomon: Hey world, I'm alive. And these pants are washable.
Harry Solomon: 大家, 我还活着。这条裤子可以拿去洗.


[Dick has entered the office wearing a tight-fitting construction worker's outfit and a tool belt]
Dick Solomon: Whaddaya think, Nina? Ya like beefcake?
Nina Campbell: Not from your funky bakery.
[winks]

[Dick 穿着紧身建筑工装，戴着工具吊带走进办公室]
Dick Solomon: Nina，如何? 喜欢牛肉包吗?
Nina Campbell: 只要不是从你那时髦的厨房出来的都好.
[媚眼]

Dick Solomon: So, how many votes do I get?
Volunteer: One.
Dick Solomon: ONE? It doesn't matter that I'm brilliant?
Volunteer: Nope.
Dick Solomon: Have you noticed how tall I am?
Volunteer: Everybody gets just one vote.
Dick Solomon: You mean your vote counts the same as mine?
Volunteer: That's right.
Dick Solomon: You know, you're awfully smug for a man at a folding table.

Dick Solomon: 那么我能投几票?
Volunteer: 一票.
Dick Solomon: 一票? 我这么优秀都不加分?
Volunteer: 不加.
Dick Solomon: 你难道都没注意我有多高?
Volunteer: 每人只有一票.
Dick Solomon: 你跟我票数相同?
Volunteer: 没错.
Dick Solomon: 就折叠桌旁的某人来说，你真是太逗了.

Tourist: Excuse me, we've been driving around for hours. Do you know of any hotels that have rooms?
Harry Solomon: I believe that *all* hotels have rooms.

Tourist: 打扰了, 我们已经开了好几个小时. 你知道哪些旅馆还有客房?
Harry Solomon: 我想*所有* 的旅馆都有客房。


Harry Solomon: Dubcek's threatening to make me work it off, and I don't think she's talking about mowing the lawn.

Harry Solomon: Dubcek's 威胁让我做完, 她说的应该不是修整草坪.

Dick Solomon: I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet.
Mary Albright: They both wound up dead.
Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary Albright: Dead.
Dick Solomon: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary Albright: Insane and dead.
Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary Albright: Drunk, insane, and dead.
Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
Mary Albright: Abgeschossen.
Dick Solomon: Aha, Siegfried and Roy.
Mary Albright: Okay, one.

Dick Solomon: 我想要像 Romeo and Juliet那样永不停止的欢乐与热情.
Mary Albright: 他们最后都死了.
Dick Solomon: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary Albright: 死了.
Dick Solomon: Wuthering Heights中的夫妇.
Mary Albright: 疯了死了.
Dick Solomon: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary Albright: 醉酒, 疯掉, 死了.
Dick Solomon: Tristan and Isolde.
Mary Albright: 继续举例.
Dick Solomon: 啊哈, Siegfried and Roy.
Mary Albright: 好吧, 算一个.

*Siegfried《宋飞传》 美剧
F. Scott Fitzgerald：菲茨杰拉德，《了不起的盖茨比》作者
其他配对都是知名文学作品人物:)

Sally Solomon: What happened, Harry?
Harry Solomon: It came out!
Dick Solomon: Is it an alien?
Harry Solomon: Well, it's purple, and it's slimy, and it's got a hose.
Sally Solomon: A hose?
Tommy Solomon: Oh, great. It's a mutant.
Dick Solomon: Alright, we'll kidnap him, and hide him, when it's a teenager we'll set him free, and then if it's really messed up, we can blame him on television.
[Marry Albright arrives]
Mary Albright: They just brought him to the nursery. He is positively glowing.
Harry Solomon: Now it's glowing.
Mary Albright: Let's go see him. He's got Vicky's eyes.
Harry Solomon: What's he doing with Vicky's eyes?
Sally Solomon: I just hope it's not eating them.

Sally Solomon: 咋啦， Harry?
Harry Solomon: 他生出来了!
Dick Solomon: 像外星人?
Harry Solomon: 呃, 紫色, 粘糊糊的, 还长了个管子.
Sally Solomon: 管子?
Tommy Solomon: 哦, 真棒.他变异了.
Dick Solomon: 好, 我们绑架他, 把他藏起来, 等他十几岁了再放他走, 如果他搞糟了, 我们就能上电视指责他.
[Marry Albright 到了]
Mary Albright: 他们把他送到护理室了. 他相当的满面红光.
Harry Solomon: 现在他都开始发光了.
Mary Albright: 去看看. 他遗传了 Vicky的眼睛.
Harry Solomon: 他要对 Vicky's eyes做啥?
Sally Solomon: 只要不是吃了它们都成.

*Vicky和the big head生了孩子。

[Looking at the babies at the nursery]
Tommy Solomon: Which one is it?
Dick Solomon: It must be him - it's hideous.
Man: Hey, that's my daughter.
Dick Solomon: I'm so sorry. SHE'S hideous.

[看着护理室的婴儿们]
Tommy Solomon: 这家伙是谁?
Dick Solomon: 一定是他 - 他可真丑.
Man: 嘿,那是我女儿.
Dick Solomon: 对不起. 那"她"可真丑.


Dick Solomon: Oh, Mary! I've had one of those terrible dreams again! We were getting married!
Mary Albright: Oh.
Dick Solomon: No, that's the good part. Then, my family showed up.
Mary Albright: Oh, and they objected?
Dick Solomon: Well... They had issues.
Mary Albright: Don't worry. I wrote a speech in case that happens. Well, it's just two words. One of them's "off".

Dick Solomon: 哦, Mary! 我又做了那个恐怖的梦! 梦到我们结婚了!
Mary Albright: 哦.
Dick Solomon: 不不，还没到噩梦. 然后, 我家人出现了.
Mary Albright: 哦, 他们反对?
Dick Solomon: 呃... 他们有点意见.
Mary Albright: 别担心. 我写了篇讲稿应付这个局面. 呃, 就两个字. 其中一个是“滚”.

Harry Solomon: Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. The Big Giant Head is unable to take your call at this time. You must wait until your call is answered in the order it was recieved.

Harry Solomon: Big Giant Head来讯. The Big Giant Head 现在不能接电话. 你必须等待你的电话按顺序接收直到被接听.


Harry Solomon: And my job will be to figure out what causes harm to the human form. Like getting your fingers crushed in a car door. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.

Harry Solomon: 我的工作就是查看什么对人类是有害的. 就像把你的手指夹在车门上. 嗷，嗷，嗷，嗷，嗷。


Dick Solomon: [reading Dr. Seuss] My God, this man is a genius!

Dick Solomon: [阅读 Dr. Seuss的著作] 天啊, 这家伙是个天才!

Dick Solomon: [reading the Bible] Wow, these people begat their brains out!

Dick Solomon: [阅读圣经] 哇哦, 人们把他们的脑子都扯出来了!

Dick Solomon: You want the truth? You want the truth? Well, I can't handle the truth!

Dick Solomon: 你要真相? 你要真相? 呃, 可是我没法接受真相!


Dick Solomon: I'm not finger-pointing...
[points at Mary]
Dick Solomon: but it's YOUR fault! YOU!

Dick Solomon: 我不是指指点点...
[指着 Mary]
Dick Solomon:但这就是“你”的错! “你”的错!


Dick Solomon: Nina, who is this 'Tom' that Mary keeps talking about?
Nina Campbell: I don't know, and it's none of my business.
Dick Solomon: It's none of my business and I'm obsessed with it!
Nina Campbell: That's typical. Why is it that men think that when you plant the flag, you own the mountain.
Dick Solomon: I spent two years climbing that mountain, and I'm not about to let some guy yodel on it!

Dick Solomon: Nina, Mary一直谈论的那个 'Tom'到底是谁?
Nina Campbell: 不知道, 关我屁事.
Dick Solomon:也不关我屁事，不过我就是放不开啊!
Nina Campbell: 确实典型. 为啥男人们以为在山顶插个棋，那山就归他们了呢.
Dick Solomon:我花两年时间征服大山, 可不是让其他野小子去唱山歌的!


[around Super Bowl season]
Harry Solomon: Tell me what you've done to Sally. Where are you taking her?
Mascha: I can't. I wish I could.
Harry Solomon: Can't you give me a hint?
Mascha: All right... We're going to do something on the weekend... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon: Why can't you give me hint?
Mascha: We're going to do something on Sunday... in San Diego.
Harry Solomon: Just one clue?
Mascha: We're going to something on SUNDAY... in SAN DIEGO... at a STADIUM.
Harry Solomon: Just one tiny clue?
Mascha: The Super Bowl, Harry!
Harry Solomon: WORK WITH ME, BABY! WHICH SUPER BOWL?

[超级杯赛季]
Harry Solomon:说说你跟 Sally. 你要带她到哪去玩?
Mascha: 我想告诉你，但是不行，.
Harry Solomon: 透露一下嘛?
Mascha: 好吧... 我们这周会去... San Diego.
Harry Solomon: 你就不能再清楚点?
Mascha: 我们周末去... San Diego.
Harry Solomon: 就给一条线索成不?
Mascha: 我们周末去... SAN DIEGO... 到体育馆.
Harry Solomon:就给一条线索?
Mascha: 超级杯, Harry!
Harry Solomon: 总算知道了, 亲爱的! 不过啥是超级杯?


Dick Solomon: Nina, take my car to the garage and rotate my tires.
Nina Campbell: That's not in my job description.
Dick Solomon: What is in your job description?
Nina Campbell: Typing.
Dick Solomon: Ok, well, type it into your job description and get my tires rotated.

Dick Solomon: Nina, 把我的车停到车库，帮我换轮胎.
Nina Campbell: 这不在我的职责范围.
Dick Solomon: 那你的职责范围是?
Nina Campbell: 打字.
Dick Solomon: 好吧，把刚才那条打进你的职责范围，去帮我换轮胎。


Sally Solomon: Don't listen to him, he's just a kid.
Salesman: Oh, don't worry. I used to be a kid myself... a long time ago.
[laughs]
Salesman: Say there, sport, you like girls?
Tommy Solomon: Yeah. Sorry.

Sally Solomon: 别听他的，他就是个小孩.
Salesman: 甭担心.我也曾经也是小孩过...很久很久以前.
[笑声]
Salesman: 你看, 运动会, 你喜欢女孩子?
Tommy Solomon: 耶. 啥.

The Big Giant Head: The yelling will cease or the killing will commence!

The Big Giant Head:别吵了，不然要开杀了!

[at career day]
Officer Don: Sorry I'm late, kids, but I was just involved in one of the world's scariest police chases.
Kid: How did it end?
Officer Don: The guy got away.
[dejected groans]
Officer Don: but, I rolled my car!
[cheers]

[工作日]
Officer Don: 抱歉我来迟了，小子们!不过我刚刚经历了世界第一等恐怖的追逐
Kid: 结果是?
Officer Don: 给那家伙溜了.
[不满抱怨声]
Officer Don: 但是，追逐时我的车翻滚了!
[喝彩声]


August: Your son is impossible.
Dick Solomon: And you're a pain in the ass, you're made for each other.

August: 你儿子没救了.
Dick Solomon: 你让人蛋疼, 你俩很登对.


Tommy Solomon: I am now the coolest punk in school.
Dick Solomon: Well, congratulations. What did you do?
Tommy Solomon: I got suspended for setting off the fire alarm.
Dick Solomon: They suspended you? You saved hundreds of lives.
Tommy Solomon: That's the best part; there was no fire.
Dick Solomon: Tommy, this is outrageous. The next time you set off the fire alarm, you'd damn well better start a fire first.

Tommy Solomon: 我现在是学校最酷的家伙.
Dick Solomon: 祝贺你，为啥呢?
Tommy Solomon:我拉了火警被禁足了.
Dick Solomon: 他们居然要禁足你? 你可是救了多少人命啊.
Tommy Solomon: 最棒的是，根本没有火灾.
Dick Solomon: Tommy, 这太荒唐了. 下次你再拉火警前得先放把火.


Dick Solomon: I don't mean to panic anyone, but I'm afraid the calamari has been infested with baby squid.

Dick Solomon: 我不想让你们惊慌，可是这乌贼大概感染了乌贼宝宝。


Tommy Solomon: Dick! Sally and Harry wont buy me a beer.
Dick Solomon: Sally, Harry, don't be so cheap!

Tommy Solomon: Dick! Sally 和 Harry 不给我买啤酒.
Dick Solomon: Sally, Harry, 别这么小气!

Nina Campbell: You think you're the smartest man on the planet, don't you?
Dick Solomon: For the thousandth time, yes!

Nina Campbell: 你以为你是这个世界上最聪明的人，是吧?
Dick Solomon:问我一千遍, 答案都是是!

Dick Solomon: Badgers do not suck! They bite!

Dick Solomon: 獾不吸! 他们咬!

*don't suck：不招人讨厌

[repeated line]
Dick Solomon: I'm gorgeous!

[反复说]
Dick Solomon: 我太赞了!

*Dick 发现Mary对年轻的Tom很热情，于是把白发染黑了。染发后大家不置可否。Dick自己照镜子时的台词


[Dick is locked in an invisible box and feels the walls]
Dick Solomon: Oh no! He's turned me into a mime!

[Dick 被锁进一面透明箱里]
Dick Solomon: 哦不! 他把我从“我”变成了“我的”!

[Harry is dressed as an alien for Halloween]
Mamie Dubcek: Oh, Harry. You're an alien.
[Harry screams]
Harry Solomon: NO, I'M NOT! I mean, yes I am.

[Harry 万圣节打扮成了个外星人]
Mamie Dubcek: 哦， Harry. 你是个外星人.
[Harry 尖叫]
Harry Solomon: 不，不是! 我是说，没错我是.

Sally Solomon: Hey, buy us a couple of beers?
Man: Sure.
[Hands Sally and Nina two beers]
Man: So, you girls going to the big game?
Sally Solomon: We don't want to talk to you. We're just broke.
[Takes beers and leaves]

Sally Solomon: 嘿, 请我们喝啤酒吧?
Man: 没问题.
[递给Sally 和Nina 两杯啤酒]
Man: 你们要玩大的?
Sally Solomon: 我们不想跟你唠嗑. 我们刚分手.
[端了啤酒走开]

Mary Albright: Have a little compassion, Sally, we're healthy. We have to help him.
Sally Solomon: I say he's lame. Shoot him.

Mary Albright: 给点同情心, Sally, 我们很健康. 我们得帮帮他.
Sally Solomon: 我说了他是个瘸子. 射死他.

Officer Don: Hamlet? The story is as old as time: Pretty boy son has a rich daddy, and a good-looking mommy. The uncle knocks off daddy, marries mommy, and he cuts pretty boy out of the action. So junior goes crazy and he kills them all. Not a pretty story... but there it is.
Tommy Solomon: Isn't that the plot to 'The Lion King'?

Officer Don: Hamlet? 这故事老掉牙了: 帅儿子有个富爸爸, 靓妈妈.叔叔杀了他爸，娶了他妈。于是这孩疯了把他们全杀了。不是啥好故事... 但就是这样
Tommy Solomon: 这不是'The Lion King'的情节吗?


Tommy Solomon: Remind me never to ask you for another favor again!
Dick Solomon: You weren't right for the role.
Harry Solomon: Hey, how'd the audition go?
Tommy Solomon: I lost the part. The "Di-rec-tor" didn't think I was good enough!
Dick Solomon: You were good: you had delivery, presence, timing, you just didn't have that indefinable something extra.
Tommy Solomon: I was just trying to score some points with my girlfriend, is that too much to ask?
Dick Solomon: 'Romeo & Juliet' is a Shakespearian tragedy, it has nothing to do with a horny teenager and his girlfriend!

Tommy Solomon: 提醒我永远别再帮你啥忙了!
Dick Solomon: 你只是不适合那个角色罢了.
Harry Solomon: 嘿, 试镜如何?
Tommy Solomon: 没成. 导演认为我不够好!
Dick Solomon: 你当然够好: 台词，表演，时间安排上都很好。只是缺了点说不上来的什么.
Tommy Solomon: 我只想通过跟我女友互动来点加分,是我问的太多了吗?
Dick Solomon: 'Romeo & Juliet' 是老莎的悲剧,跟淫乱少年和他女朋友没有一毛钱的关系!

Sally Solomon: You just can't imagine what it feels like, Dick. It's like he reached in... and pulled all the bones out of my body...
[Sally starts crying]
Dick Solomon: My god, what are you doing?
Sally Solomon: [Wipes her tears] Apparently I'm leaking!

Sally Solomon: 你只是无法想象的出, Dick. 就像他进来了... 然后把我所有的骨头都从身子里抽走了...
[Sally 开始哭]
Dick Solomon: 天哪, 你在做啥?
Sally Solomon: [擦泪] 显然在撒尿!

Sally Solomon: YOU!
[Points at man by bar]
Sally Solomon: Your sexual organs are in total diometric opposition to mine!
Man: Well... hey! So, can I give you a call sometime?

Sally Solomon: 你!
[指着吧台旁一男人]
Sally Solomon: 你的性器官跟我的完全契合!
Man: 哦... 嘿! 那我能打电话给你吗?


Dick Solomon: This is just perfect. I try to mold us into a family that will blend in, and what do I get? A surly teenager, a sister obsessed with a man, and a brother who drinks too much. Is there another family in the whole world like this? I don't think so!

Dick Solomon: 这样最好.我尝试让我们的家庭融合,看看我们? 粗暴的小子, 沉沦于男人的姐妹, 还有个酗酒的兄弟.这世界还有谁像咱们? 绝对没有了!

Nina Campbell: Hey, check out the bartender.
Mary Albright: [sarcastically] Ooh... God's gift to women.
Sally Solomon: I hope he kept the receipt.

Nina Campbell: 嘿，看那个调酒师.
Mary Albright: [嘲讽的] 哦... 真是上帝赐给女人的礼物啊.
Sally Solomon: 我希望他没把收据扔了.


Sally Solomon: This is the bake sale committee, right?
Mrs. Hartzinger: Yes, I don't believe I've seen you before.
Sally Solomon: I don't believe you're blonde.

Sally Solomon: 这是烘焙售卖会吧?
Mrs. Hartzinger: 是啊，我不认为之前见过你.
Sally Solomon: 我不认为你是个金发女子。

*那个Mrs. Hartzinger确实是blonde


Sally Solomon: Oh, how exciting. I am SO glad I get to be the woman. Next planet I get to be something BIG... WITH HORNS!

Sally Solomon: 哦,真激动. 我真高兴是我当了女人. 下个星球我一定要变成大个的... 还要有角!

Patty Muller: I don't envy you at having to take care of three men. I only got Frank and he's a full-time job. Just once, I'd like to see that man pick up a sock.
Sally Solomon: I'd like to see men put their dirty dishes in the sink.
Patty Muller: I'd like to see them do laundry.
Sally Solomon: I'd like to see them crammed between two steel wheels and ground into a fine paste.
Patty Muller: You know, I'd like to see that myself.
Sally Solomon: You let me know.

Patty Muller: 我一点也不羡慕你要照顾3个男人。我只要照顾Frank1个人，而且他还天天去上班。只有一次，我希望男人可以自己捡捡袜子。
Sally Solomon:我只希望他们把脏盘子扔进水槽里。
Patty Muller: 我只希望他们去洗衣服。
Sally Solomon:我只希望看到他们夹进两个轮子里被碾成肉酱。
Patty Muller: 你知道,我也想.
Sally Solomon: 了解.


Tommy Solomon: Actually, Sally, uh, Halloween is revered as the day when the graves yawn and the dead rise.
Harry Solomon: Plus you get to stick candy corns up your nose.

Tommy Solomon: 事实上, Sally, 过万圣节是因为这天坟墓鼓噪死人复生 .
Harry Solomon: 还因为这天你要把糖果插在鼻孔里.
.

Dick Solomon: I find you pompous, judgmental, and completely self-absorbed. Would you be my friend?

Dick Solomon:我发现你傲慢, 决断, 以及完完全全的自恋.做我的朋友吧?


[Mary and Dick are in a restaurant]
Dick Solomon: Mary, the waiter made a mistake. You ordered Surf and Turf. They brought you steak and lobster.
Mary Albright: Dick, that's what surf and turf is.
Dick Solomon: Oh... I thought it was water and grass.

[Mary and Dick 在餐馆]
Dick Solomon: Mary, 服务员犯了个错误. 你要了Surf and Turf . 他们却端来了牛排和龙虾.
Mary Albright: Dick, 它们就是 surf and turf .
Dick Solomon: 哦... 我还以为应该是水&草.

*Surf and Turf 直译:海浪&草皮


Harry Solomon: [eyes closed] Sally, I can't see behind my eyelids.
Sally Solomon: Open them.
Harry Solomon: [opens his eyes] Ohhh, they're manual...

Harry Solomon: [闭眼] Sally, 我看不到了.
Sally Solomon: 睁眼.
Harry Solomon: [睁眼] 哦, 他们（眼睑）不是自动的...

Evil Dick: Do I make myself clear Tommy?
Harry Solomon: Oh no, I'm Harry.
Evil Dick: No, from now on you will be referred to as Tommy.
Tommy Solomon: Hey, what about me?
Evil Dick: You will be Tommy too.
Tommy Solomon: Wait, so Tommy as in the number 2 or as what...?
Evil Dick: You will all be known as Tommy!

Evil Dick: Tommy我讲的够明白了吧?
Harry Solomon: 哦不, 我是 Harry.
Evil Dick: 不不, 从现在起你就是 Tommy了.
Tommy Solomon: 嘿, 那我咧?
Evil Dick: 你也是Tommy.
Tommy Solomon: 等等, 就是Tommy2号还是啥的...?
Evil Dick: 你也被叫作 Tommy!


Tommy Solomon: Holy cow, we weren't just dating leggy babes...
Harry Solomon: We were dating leggy babes from beyond!

Tommy Solomon: 我的天啊, 我们不能只跟长腿宝贝约会...
Harry Solomon: 我们不只跟这里的长腿宝贝约会!

Harry Solomon: I could do it with my eyes closed!
Tommy Solomon: You do everything with your eyes closed!

Harry Solomon: 我闭着眼都能做!
Tommy Solomon: 你做啥都是闭着眼!


[the Solomons are blasting "Entertainment Tonight" on their new TV]
Alissa Strudwick: How loud do you need to hear that it's Mary Steenburgen's birthday?

[the Solomons 在新TV上看“娱乐之夜”]
Alissa Strudwick: 你们要听 Mary Steenburgen的生日宣布到几时?

Leon: Dr. Solomon, I have an answer, but I think it might be wrong.
Dick Solomon: Why, Leon, of course it's wrong. You'll always be wrong! In fact, the odds of you being right are staggering!

Leon: Dr. Solomon, 我有个答案, 但我觉得它不对.
Dick Solomon: 为啥, Leon, 它当然不对. 你一直没对过! 事实是你要对了才奇了怪了!

Sally Solomon: So the meatloaf is essentially ground beef and bread crumbs?
Tommy Solomon: Right.
Sally Solomon: And ground beef is essentially nothing more than dead cow?
Tommy Solomon: Right.
Sally Solomon: So I have dead cow on my hands? Ahhhhhhhhh!
[runs off]
Tommy Solomon: Women.

Sally Solomon: 牛肉饼实际上就是磨碎的牛肉和 面包屑?
Tommy Solomon: 对头.
Sally Solomon: 碎牛肉就是死牛肉?
Tommy Solomon: 对头.
Sally Solomon: 那我手上的就是死牛肉?啊啊啊啊啊啊!
[跑掉]
Tommy Solomon: 女人啊.


Sally Solomon: [about her breasts] Hmm, they seem to have greater power when they collide.

Sally Solomon: [关于胸部] 恩,它们互相碰撞时似乎拥有不可思议的力量.

Dick Solomon: So tell me, how far away is Cleveland?
Frank: An assault charge. The federal court house is there.
Dick Solomon: Right! Cleveland is a felonious assault away!


Dick Solomon: 那告诉我, 到Cleveland多远?
Frank: 侵犯指控. 联邦法院就在那.
Dick Solomon: 对啊! Cleveland就在该死的攻击距离内!

*felonious assault away这个也是双关，可是我翻不出那个俏皮


Dick Solomon: Our home for this mission was Earth, a third-rate planet. I got a third-rate car, a job at a third-rate university and now we were looking at a third-floor apartment.

Dick Solomon: 此行的目的地地球, 一个三级星球。我拿了辆三等汽车, 在个三流大学任教，现在又要找个在三层的公寓。


Tommy Solomon: [pointing to the sky] I've been there. I've been there. And there. And there.
Harry Solomon: The long, boring stories you must have!

Tommy Solomon: [指天] 我到过那. 还到过那. 还有那,以及那
Harry Solomon: 那你该经历过多么庸长无聊的故事阿。


Dick Solomon: My woman won't let me be a woman! Excuse me, I'm going to go draw a bath and then have a fat-free cookie.

Dick Solomon: 我的女人不让我当个女人! 借过, 我去洗个澡再来块脱脂曲奇。


Harry Solomon: So what are you in here for?
Man: The police think I'm crazy because I told them I was from the planet Circon 9.
Harry Solomon: Do you know Steve?

Harry Solomon: 你在这干啥?
Man: 我说我来自星球 Circon 9，警察认为我疯了.
Harry Solomon: 那你应该认识 Steve?

Coach Strickland: Solomon, climb the rope!
Tommy Solomon: What's at the top of the rope?
Coach Strickland: Your self-esteem.
Tommy Solomon: My self-esteem?
Coach Strickland: Now climb the rope or you get to go sit with the girls.
Tommy Solomon: So if I don't climb the rope, I get to go sit with the girls? You're going to have to help me out here, I'm failing to see the downside!

Coach Strickland: Solomon, 去爬绳子!
Tommy Solomon: 绳子顶上有啥?
Coach Strickland: 你的自尊.
Tommy Solomon: 我的自尊?
Coach Strickland: 现在就给我爬，不然去坐到女生堆里.
Tommy Solomon: 也就是说我要是不爬, 我就得跟女生一起。你说说看, 我看不出惩罚点!


Dick Solomon:I have... a plan!
Tommy Solomon: Remember, Dick, you're not allowed to disintegrate Earthlings.
Dick Solomon: [pause] I have... *another* plan!

Dick Solomon: 我有... 个计划!
Tommy Solomon: 记住, Dick, 你不准分解地球人.
Dick Solomon: [停顿]我有... *又一* 个计划!


Tommy Solomon: [Tommy and Harry are moving Sally's belongings out of the house]
[Tommy carries a large box with difficulty]
Tommy Solomon: Oh, Harry, you've got to help me with this box, it's filled with rocks and books and stuff.
Harry Solomon: Step aside.
[Harry grips the box and gets ready to push it up, as he does, the box flies over his head]
Tommy Solomon: [giggling] ... It was empty...
[Tommy leaves]
Harry Solomon: No.
[grabs the box and starts to leave]
Harry Solomon: I'm the strongest man in the world!

Tommy Solomon: [Tommy和 Harry 正把 Sally的东西往外搬]
[Tommy 在困难的搬箱子中]
Tommy Solomon: 哦, Harry, 过来帮帮我, 这箱子装满了袜子和书等玩意.
Harry Solomon: 闪边去.
[Harry 抓住箱子准备举起来 , 这当口，箱子飞过他头顶]
Tommy Solomon: [咯咯笑] ... 空的哈...
[Tommy 离场]
Harry Solomon: 不要阿.
[抓起箱子，准备离场]
Harry Solomon: 我是世界第一强人!

Harry Solomon: So, Dick. Wanna know what I heard around the water cooler today?... There's a weird guy hanging 'round the water cooler.

Harry Solomon: Dick. 想知道今天我听到 the water cooler附近有啥稀罕事物吗?... the water cooler附近有个奇怪男人显转悠.

*Harry同学你能更无聊一点吗


Officer Don: Sally, I think you're only attracted to my uniform! Do you know what this means?
Sally Solomon: Yeah...
Officer Don: It means you'll never see me out of uniform again!

Officer Don: Sally, 我认为你只是迷恋我的制服! 你知道这意味着什么吗?
Sally Solomon: 呃...
Officer Don: 这意味这你永远也别想在我脱下它时见到我!


Mary Albright: So are you glad we tried something new?
Dick Solomon: Not really, it made me cold... and shrivelly.

Mary Albright: 我们来点新花样如何?
Dick Solomon: 还是不要了, 它们害我发冷... 发抖.